Turn off..

I was chatting with H, talking about life, sex, and Q.
So yeah was chatting bla bla bla and i was checking Q out on facebook.
Checking out her photos, pics, when i saw something that totally turned me off..

Relationship Status:

In a Relationship

AHHHH!! Turn off. But nevermind, not like I'm going for her. Yes readers, I'm not going for anyone.. I just want to socialize more. Wahahaha..

EHHH I JUST CHECKED..

Relationship Status:

Single

Lol.. But who cares.. It'd be interesting just to get to know her.. And i doubt that she's single..
Bleh.. J if u read this dont laugh..

Why am I like this??

I sat down.
Talk to J.
J saw J's friend(Q).
J called Q over.
Q sat down next to me.
Q asked me whether it's my last class of the day.
I said yes.
Q said that it's Q's last class as well.
Q is happy.
I just smiled.
30 minutes passed with only the sound of the lecturer mumbling.
I asked Q for her notes to check how much more must he cover before the class end.
And that's all I talked to Q.

Q is cute.. ):

WTF???

Realisation

One thing about me, I just talk what comes into my mind. I don't organize a post so that in the end everything makes sense. I'm not like that. So here it goes, everything that i think is true.

I feel ruptured, intense heartache. The feeling of loneliness surrounds me all the time, even when I'm surrounded by beings. The feeling that I won't be able to live my life right and healthy. My eyes are wide open now after what has happened. A great lesson that I've learnt. The truth about the rule of the world, about the corruption and how corrupted people are. The knowledge and realisation of how people act around me. And until this day, my perception, my preference, my thinking is still the same. Some people might say I'm old fashioned, that things have changed and people have to go with the flow, don't stick to the old ways, instead adapt the new generation's thinking. Sorry but I'm not going to change my mind. I still believe what I believe. Maybe the rules of my life can be bent, but not broken altogether. It's going to be harder now. Since now i realise how different this era is, and the gap between it and how i thought the world will be, is indefinitely huge.

So I thought to myself, can I live in this totally different world?

It's as if i was never part of you..

I was never appreciated to begin with.. Everything that I've done, is never enough.. Everyone just want more..

Still trying to forget.. After so long.. And yet you're with another guy..

Never again will I fall..
Never again will I trust..
Never again will I endure this complication..
And..
Never again will I love..

I hate my life..

The truth of the world..

Everyone just cant be trusted at all.. You think your friends got your back.. They'll just stab you from the back soon when they get what they want.. They'll just forget about you when they found new friends.. new people to hang out with.. which they think that are much cooler.. No doubt they are more fun to hang out with.. but to ditch your old friends? That's just pathetic.. and no.. that doesn't end there.. When they need you, then they decide to call you up.. just to get what they want.. They dont remember about US.. they just remember what we HAVE..

Fuck the world and all of the people living on it.. They all are just bastards..

If you're reading this you know who you are..

It's Official

Yeah It's over.. Officially..

Karma sucks.. Screw karma..

I feel super lonely.. Sigh..

It took you a few weeks.. To start dating again.. So much for being so in love with me and never want anyone else.. That ain't love.. It's just a crush..

Guess you'll never know what I'd say here.. Doubt that you even know this site exist..

I loved you so much..

I'm tired of my life..

I just want to die and just die..

I hate the world..

Sorry Butters.. I'm not like you..

I need someone who I can trust.. For me to hold.. To hold me.. And just lay down till the end of time..

You want basic.. So you lied about only wanting me..

Sigh.. Currently listening to Hooked On A Feelin' by Baha Men..

A Happy Love Song.. Makes me sad for i dont feel that way.. Because no one is in love with me.. no one ever did..

Oh I'm having a huge huge huge huge huge crush on Mila Kunis..

Google her up..

This post is so messed up..