Friends..
Are they essential in our lives?
Are they our needs? Are they important?
Everyday in my head I argue about those questions.. Somehow I just can't make up my mind about it.. Because right now, what I've learned in my life.. Is not to trust people.. With the incident that happened to me recently, it only adds up to the point..
Every passing day we see new people.. And every passing day we see familiar faces..
It's our choice whether to approach these people.. And befriend with them..
Almost all the time, i chose to close myself.. For I am weird enough to close myself to people who I don't know.. but start opening up a lot to people I barely know..
Friends..
Somehow I always feel they take me for granted.. They befriended me for what I have.. Not who I am..
Who am I? Seriously I don't blame them.. I have nothing to offer.. They are just too different from me.. To be frank I'm not interesting at all..
That is why I'm like one of the last person they'd call..
One of the last person they'd think about when they want to have fun or go out with..
If someone starts an event and starts the invitation, they won't go "Hey why don't you call him?"..
I'd be the one they happen to see in their phone book and go "Oh yeah I'll just call this guy as well"..
I'm the guy that people will go "Oh he knows this I'm gonna ask him about it" or
"Oh he got that, I can use it"..
Sorry if it's too harsh but that's how I feel.. But I don't mind.. really.. At least I know that I'm useful somehow in my friends' life.. In someway they think of me.. I couldn't ask for more.. I guess I just envy other people with friends that.. Sigh..
Never mind.. I'm asking too much.. I guess I should be a better guy first huh? Maybe I should be a better friend for all my friends.. Though to be honest I don't know what to do..
This sucks..
